


He Calls Himself Pride

by Katalyna_Rose



Series: Vhenan and Associated Stories (Lyna Lavellan) [32]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Angst, Cole Interprets Solas, F/M, Post-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-26
Updated: 2016-11-26
Packaged: 2018-09-02 06:40:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 461
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8654701
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Katalyna_Rose/pseuds/Katalyna_Rose
Summary: He calls himself Pride, but all he feels is Shame. He forgets that the two are not mutually exclusive.





	

He calls himself Pride, but all he feels is Shame. He forgets that the two are not mutually exclusive, that there must be pride before there can be shame. He used to think he was Wisdom, but that was long ago, further than even his memory stretches.

She called to him and he came, though he didn't really want to. He did it for her, because she commanded it. But when it was finished it was wrong. He knew it, she knew it, but there was nothing to be done. He calls himself Pride because whatever he was before is gone now.

She was greedy with his affections, wanted him all to herself even though she didn't love him. She was selfish, but that fed his pride until that was all he knew. She raised him up, made him all he was, and he respected her for it, maybe even loved her. He calls himself Pride because that was all she loved in him, all she nurtured and wanted.

He couldn't admit that she was wrong when he first saw it. He still can't admit it, not really. He calls himself Pride because he is too proud to admit her faults.

He first became Shame when the slave begged at his feet and died anyway. Then he couldn't ignore it anymore. She tried to make it okay, but her words had lost their meaning. She didn't see. He calls himself Pride so he won't forget again.

He made a mistake that looked like atonement. He only wanted to fix it, but it didn't work. He destroyed what he cherished. He calls himself Pride because that decision didn't belong to him like he thought it did.

Another chance for atonement ended in failure. He didn't think they were people. He only saw his previous failures. He failed again. He calls himself Pride for thinking himself above them.

Then  _she_ came. A shadow like the others, but not. She was  _alive_ , and she reminded him why he fights. She opened his eyes and woke his heart. He fell for her, body and soul, but he couldn't drag her down his road. He calls himself Pride for taking away her choice.

His shame is boundless now, all he knows, and he weeps for lost opportunities. His mistakes haunt him, are all he sees. He doesn't look at what's better for his presence. He doesn't listen to the memories of one too vivid to be a shadow that tell him he is more, could be more. He calls himself Pride because that is what he is. Corrupted. Changed. Wrong. Reckless. Shamed.

"How can I help him, Cole?"

"You can't. He calls himself Pride because he wouldn't listen."

_"Oh, Solas... Ma vhenan, var lath vir suledin."_ __

**Author's Note:**

> I absolutely love the way Cole speaks! This was fun. I wrote it at work, but still. So fun!


End file.
